It's raining outside today. They say that rain in the spring brings new life and new growth. I haven't been feeling that in my life for a little bit now so I suppose it only applies to the foliage outside.
I am feeling stagnant. I am overwhelmed by everything I have to do each day but I see that I am not accomplishing much these day. Princess #1 has Down Syndrome. We have been here since July and I have needed to get her into 7 specialist. I have made it to 2 of those. I have had to search for the doctors close to home to accept her because I am not going to take her to DC. I can't. I have my other two princesses and one has missed school a couple of times already because of her appointments.
I am taking online courses and am finishing up my semester with pretty good grades but really for what? My life today consists of dealing with trying to get treatment for my husbands leg and living the life of a family with someone who one day wants to be one place and the next wants to be another. I wonder if Americans would really be able to handle what many of us have been through and live with everyday. It is exhausting.
Yesterday one of the doctors The Captain has been seeing for his leg wrote an email that showed me just how out out touch most of them are with what is going on in most of our lives. People don't listen. I mean REALLY listen anymore. He said something The Captain wrote "sets the wrong tone entirely". I find that really interesting when The Captain has been begging now for over 5 years for anyone to LISTEN, really listen about his pain. Not what you want to do or hear but what he wants to do and how he feels about his body. It scares me that one day I will come home to someone I once knew because there is no one listening.
For now I will just keep pressing on. It's what I do. Maybe one day I will get everything I need done completed and I will feel good about myself and what I have done.