Tuesday, November 8, 2011
This morning started out pretty intense. I have my 3 princesses and boy were they all worked up. It seems like my oldest princess, the one with Down Syndrome, has nothing nice to say..EVER. Last night she made me get all teary when she said I was the best mom ever. I had cooked a really nice meal and she was very appreciative. It was really hard for me to sleep last night. I was there in bed thinking about my princesses. Princess 1 is almost 13. At 13 my life was so much different than hers. I had boyfriends, girls who I hung out with all the time and more. I want those things so badly for her. She is beautiful, loving and funny.
On top of that I was feeling guilty. Why? Well I keep bringing up PTSD in some form and I think it is starting to get The Captain going again. His dream he had the other night after he read my book. The anger he has when I talk about people who I have been dealing with. The sadness I see in his eyes because the pain is there. The Captain told me he has so much still to deal with and work through. I just wish, and this is a total fairy tale, that everything was all perfect. That The Captain never had to deal with his disability nor my Princess her disability. If I could carry the burden of it all for them I would.
On a good note we are making plans to take a vacation together. Just the Captain and I. This vacation is one we will do on our own. This time we can sit together on the beach and just for a few days forget all the things in the wounded world.
I also have been asked to work with a spouses program at a PTSD treatment facility. I am very excited about this chance to help my fellow warrior wives along the way. I am honored I was asked and can't wait to do my next program. This being November I have so much to be thankful for. My life is good. God has been amazing to me even when I gave up on him.
I hope you have an amazing day...